I suck?!..

I think i must say that i suck at pleasing friends. ):
One get angry.
One get annoyed.
One disagree with me.
One get irritated.
One get upset with me.
Although i said it's because of them, but i think it's also myself. My bad personalities? But, i can't think what i did is really bad. Or is it because i'm tooo nice? That people start "bullying" me?..

The truth is that; I just need a true friend ):
Seriously a TRUE friend.
I thought i've some friends whom i can trust. But in the end, all betraying me, all pretending to be nice to me, all bluffing me, all hating me which hurt my heart actually but i'm putting a smile everyday like what Kor told me last night. No matter how painful you experience, you still must put on a smile so that people would think nothing happened instead but of course, it isn't easy.
I feel miserable on seeing this.
Yep, i do have some good friends, older than me. Age doesn't matter to me. Well, these people will know who they are. And, they are always there for me, being my listeners. I'm truly grateful for this! What i mean, i need someoneeeee who can share problems, be a listening ear, share joy & happiness always.
Well, i don't need someone who must be close with me. Just someone who is honest and can be trusted.

I feel miserable when comes thinking about this.
I don't need a gang of people with me.
I don't need everyone to be with me.
I just want ONE person, can i?
I hope God will give me a miracle in future.
I seriously don't want to think about this because i can tell this will affect me very much if i keep on thinking about it. I commit these to God and give me a miracle, pleaseeee.
That's why i always dread going CCA. Samee thing ):
Yes, i can be very nice but i still need some understanding.
Yes, i can be very nasty if you scold me for no reason/letting me explain - I always have my own reasons for what i did.
Yes, i can be very happy at times, but my heart feel opposite perharps. - If you people notice that I'm quiet at times.

If you don't know what is this, don't talk to me. I've enough explaining all times )':