ONE
BY
ONE
HURTING
ME


WHAT
IS
THIS?

AM
I
A
STUPID
SILLY
FOOL
TO
BE
SOOO
NICE
TO
EVERYONE ?

zzzzz..
i'm very frustrated over this and that !
not just one thing, it's many many things !
just now, nearly fought with my mum because we BOTH are very frustrated and tired.
sigh !

CAN I HAVE SOME PEACE ? CAN MY MUM HAVE SOME PEACE ? PLEASE !

i feel wanting to avoid everyone except some certain people .. sigh !
i don't wish to do these !
but i may not go out much.. i don't have much clothes to wear..

NOT allowed to wear: red, yellow, orange, pink clothes..bright colours..shorts, shirts, bags !!
sigh ! can't wear since my grandpa just recently passed away..
that's the custom, my parents said ?
actually most of my clothes are all these colours.. have black, white, grey and dull colours.. a number of them only.. those bright colours one, i've moreee !

i always wish that i'm born from Christian family instead !
sigh !
can't do anything.. have to follow..
FOR 100 DAYS ! CNY, also cannot.. Christmas, also cannot.. =(
how miserable is that ?!
just for the sake of my dear beloved grandpa.. obey heaven, obey him..

can't enjoy much until next year after N levels, maybe a short while..then have to wait until after O levels !!
i wanna enjoy during these holidays, i think probably cannot =(..

maybe i'm NOT going out during this coming weekends ! maybe i am going as usual ! maybe i go out to be alone ! i don't know what i exactly want !
i feel so stressed, tired, frustrated and upset !!
sounds like i'm a fool !!
why why why ?
i've suffered so much during my 15 years of my lifeee !! i still have many years to go on !!
will i be able to survive further more :X ??
ALMIGHTY FATHER ! PLEASE BLESS ME AND EVERYONE !
i feeel sooo arghh.. =(

results are releasing soon on friday.. not going sch tmr.. will be going back on friday for the sake of the exam papers !! hope i will pass..but not getting in top 20 pleasee !

PS. sorry that i updated 3 times today !!
i feel so arghhh..need to update, make me feel better..

ok good night all ! have a good rest !