God, forgive me for those bad words I've been saying.
I want to say many things but will skip some parts.

After a night's thought,
After hanging out with those people at Macs last night,

I realised that those people are real friends although there're complicated matters in between.
So what, if there're boys around?
Friends are friends. No big deal of having boys as our friends.
And also, not forgetting others as well (HI friends) ! (:

Feeling left-out?
Actually, you blame yourself not us.
I can see many of us, trying to talk/joke/laugh/tease(not in a bad way) with each other as much as we can.
You must understand that there're many of us & you can't expect every single one of us to talk to you every time we meet each other.

I'm saying facts.
If you won't believe me, you can ask the other girls. I bet they will say the same kind of things.
Anyway, I want to say, is:
ALL OF US ARE NOT AT FAULT ! (:

I realised that I don't deserve to be cared by other people, maybe just those real friends (:
No big deal with that, because I don't want to be stupid by being used of, and being a fool to them.
I think my family will be that enough ♥

Kor, if you don't want to talk to me or you don't want to continue this,
I think we will just stop this & I'll stop bothering you.

I always think you are the best in my life, although people say things about you.
You change my life into a better way by bringing me to church & knowing Christ.
But somehow, recently,
You treat me differently (not like a brother treating a sister) & I try to hint you many times.
You don't get my point and think you're doing right thing & don't bother in changing yourself.
But I must say your attitude towards people is not right.
Treating different people in different ways, where is the real you? The real Kor I've?
I'm NOT expecting too much from you.
I just want you to realise yourself & people even can see obviously.
I don't want people to think wrongly & saying as if you don't care about your sister.
Definitely, I know you care, just that in different way.
But you give wrong impression to people (you're making others that I've a Kor like this & people will think I'm stupid to have you as my Kor) & I hate to hear things like that.
I don't want to continue if you won't understand what I'm trying to say.

(If you aren't going to respond, I will take it as we are siblings in name only)

Soon or later, i will stop going church, because I already said that I don't deserve to be cared by others.
The best way for me is to spend time with family & those real friends ♥
I think my life will be better in this way.
What I want to say, is:
DON'T BOTHER ASKING ME, ONCE I DECIDE (:
(I have not decide yet, but thinking about it)

I know some of you(who are in unknown about this) will get worried.
I'm seriously completely alright & in fighting mode with my upcoming prelims & exams.
Don't need to ask what happened (:

Focusing on my future(:
If I fail this year, I'm prepared to take whatever step that is ahead me.
I'm prepared for the good outcome and bad outcome.
Definitely I will want a positive way to go (:

Mugging mode ! :D
See you all, probably updating tonight(: