just back home from my grandparents' house.
it's really maddening, almost 12am.
=(

well, can't sleep now.
being scared and frustrated =(
gonna finish up caroline's hw.
see you guys.

update again tmr, i guess?
gd night.

although yesterday i was sooooo frustrated with so much happenings...
i'm really glad at the end of the day..to see someone smiling again, at least =)
to that person: no more regretting, okayy?
although lifeeeee sooooo sucky, i still want to solveeee everything pleaseeeeee.

hmm, today sooooo cold.
probably not going anywhere today until evening, visiting my sick grandpa at his homeeee.

Dear God,

Please blesss everyone with good health.
Please bless that person and his/her loved one with strength and wisdom to solve all problems they're facing.
Please bless my grandpa to survive longer as days pass by.
I pray for Caroline's safety while she fly back to sg today from Thailand =)
And also, wisdom for me as i do revision for exams and strength in whatever i do.
Not forgetting Char when she also prayed for me, please bless her with wisdom in her studies and strength as she face things in school and etc.
Thank you.
In the name of Jesus Christ.

Amen.

okay gtg.
update again..

PS.
Thanks Char for praying for meeeee. Btw..Char: don't say many of my closed ones dying one by one. Pleaseeeee don't say that..thanks!

Thanks my dear jieeejieee for being there for meee whenever she can! Study hard for N levels and go out with meeee after my exams! :D Miss you lots! Hope you can come tmr, heh heh! ^^

another day, of so much happenings everywhereeeeeee.
when can this end please?
i already have a HORRIBLE week this week =(

dont want to talk further moreee =(
update again.
see you guyss..

just so much happenings today.
don't wish to say anything else.

ENOUGH ENOUGH.

i just received bad news, someeeone who is close to my family especially my brother..erm, i can say that he is my brother's childhood friend. He and his family were neighbours with us last time, before i move to hereeee.
oh, he passed away because of cancer. last few months, his dad just passed away, and now he.. =(.. really saddening for them =(

wonder whether my grandpa is the next oneee.. no pleaseeeeee.. *crys*
sigh. enough typing alr..
update again.. see you!

to someone(friend):

can you please let me stop worrying so much about you?
reply my sms please.
i don't care whether you are moody.
i'm your little friend who is there for you ALL the times, no matter what happens.
i'm seriously worrying about you.
PLEASE PLEASE at least respond, unless you don't regard me as your friend anymore =(
i've been worrying abt you for days, while being stressed by other things.
i'm truly sorry if i sound mean!
my dear friend...................! sigh..

PS. People out there, don't ask me so much about this. Thank you! =) have a nice day..

my previous entries soooo depressing, zzzzz.

hmm..
thanks, kor for accompanying me online and also dinner after tuition last night!
last night was ='(..
and this morning, was so frustrated.
but i still think i'm in the wrong, shouldn't show that way to my parents =(..
school was fine, but SLEEPY.

i slept ard 12am and woke up ard 4am plus. couldn't sleep as my mum wasn't ard. i mean like usually i fall asleep with comp on and fan switched off, super hot and my mum always is the one to help me switch on the fan which i will have better sleep. and i was thinking too much T.T.. i think same for my bro, but he could sleep like a pig :X

at least i wrote some notes for biology for revision and trying to listen to teacher during the whole 1h in Bio.
hmm, went bugis AGAIN AGAIN for lunch, talk talk talk talk until evening then went homee.
at this moment, doing work.
waiting for my mum, finally now she is heading homeeeeee and i gonna meet her later to buy dinner.
ok, see you peopleeee.

PS. some people, can please sms me? my phone is sooo dead and i feel so sian T.T
&..thanks char for praying for meeee, in her blog i mean =)

Dear God,

I pray for better weekends this week although since Monday, i wasn't in the happy mood.
I pray for strength and wisdom in everything i do.
Thank you! In the name of Jesus Christ.

Amen.

after seeing the comments in my tagboard, thanks alot to those people! i appreciated these very much!

sigh, now i even can't see my mum today except this morning, rushing time.
i even can't manage to talk to her face-to-face.
she has to stay in hosp with grandpa for the whole night.
heard that he's very sick.
i want him to survive longer and pull himself to live until old ripe age NOT now pleaseeeee =(

now my dad's back hm, very tireddddd.
don't wish to disturb him =(
why's this happening to meeeee? ='( sobsob..

now my foot is a little sprained, happened for weeks but i don't wish to tell my parents
it's a hinderance to them when they have so much problems with my grandpa =(
i'm sooooo tired.
why, why? =(
i feel so stressed, arghhhh..why, why, why, why?

today, this afternoon..i was with SAC girls for lunch.
we were chatting about being hearing impaired and what happens in futureeee.
i feel there're soooooo many DISadvantages about being HI.
whyyyy? rah! =(

no mood..i just need someone to rant on :X.. nope, better not =(

oh! today school sucks, sucks, sucks.
i fell during PE on grass..water water, from the rain. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
my whole legs were wet and with all those dirty stupid things and my shorts were wet tooooo!
i feel sooooo angry. bad luck =(
i slept during a period of SS and a period of EL, which means 1h! so freaking mad.
i made a rule for myself: NO SLEEPING IN CLASS UNTIL EXAMS ARE OVER!
but but but but..
too tired, so went zzzzzzz-ing. sigh =(
i only slept for 4-5hours last night. and also, the night before yesterday.

WHY WHY WHY? SO FREAKING MAD =(

i feel that life is going wrong to mee.
maybe some of you know what my problems are.

if YOU want to take everyone/everything from me, go ahead.
but YOU never think of my feelings.
i'm NOT trying to snatch everyone from YOU.
i take my risk to do things for YOU but YOU don't appreciate, i don't understand why.
yes, i know the differences between US.
but, shld this stay long? like now..FOUR months already..

if YOU dislike me so much, don't talk to me, don't affect me with your stupid attitude.
if YOU don't want me to go inside your life, go ahead and ignore me.
but again did YOU think what i had done for many past years? i've done MANY MANY things in case you don't realise that.

my parents asked me this Q: will anyone do things for you what you have done for them? ( 'you' refers to me, 'them' refers to some people)
YOU PEOPLE know what i replied?
i told my parents: i don't mind if anyone doesnt want to do anything for me.. (WHY I SAID THIS? - i must be crazy? - it's because i still cherish all of you no matter what but of course, i'm always the one who get hurt and those stuffs)

i'm saying all these, NOT to expect things from you all. i want SOME PEOPLE to realise these after years.
i really don't wish to continue anymore, i've given up.
so..if YOU want to break our friendship, go ahead and tell meeeeee online/via SMS.

i've faced MANY difficulties/problems in primary school and now, in secondary school.
i'm always suffering the most.
WHY WHY WHY? WHY AFFECT ME ALL TIMES? I'M REALLY CONFUSED AND UPSET.
since facing so much of these problems, i do wonder whether
Am i a bad friend? Am i a mean friend? Am i a friend who brings trouble to everyone?

Besides all these, i'm affecting by my grandpa who (at this moment) admitted to hospital for the 3RD time.
1st time he admitted - he stayed for a week.
2nd time - he stayed for 2 weeks.
AND NOW AGAIN.. ='(
(for your info, he's down with cancer and also facing so much problems in his body..and he has to undergo treatment which he even hasn't started yet, i guess)

Whenever I need someoneeeee...i've no one i can trust the most.
I don't mean the adults because they are working and busy..yes i appreciate all the care, love and concerns from the adults whom i'm close to.. but i don't wish to disturb them all time =(
I just need someone who are in teens.
I just need a friend who i can trust the most.
(i know i've the SAC girls..what i mean, is i need just ONE.. yes, they can be the ones i can share problems/happiness with.. i appreciate that!)

I've been betrayed and backstabbed many many times, who knows how many times it had been already..
sorry, my post is super long.
i think that i really have to release hereeeee. it can't remain in me forever.. really disappointing ='(
okay, i think i've to stop heree.
update again..

PS. Don't think you are exactly the one when you read this entry :X

what's happening to life? =(

i've so much problems already..
and now..
my grandpa has problem again..
my older cousin called my mum that he has chest pains..then few minutes, called again and said that he can't talk already..called the ambulance and..
ZOOMMM my mum went off to their house at Yishun.
I'm all alone at home again.

facing mosquito bites on my legs again T.T
facing so much hw..still doing at this moment..
dinner alone again.
i was about to eat dinner with mum then this happened =(

Dear God,

I pray for my grandpa..that nothing serious will happeen pleaseeee! =(
I pray for strength for myself to finish ALL my work before i go zz tonight.
I pray that everyone had a good day today!
In the name of Jesus Christ.

Amen.

school was fine today.
feeling annoyed, lack of zz :X
sigh.
what's happening everywhereeeeeeee? =(

hmmm..something touchs my heart, my soul, my mind..

i really thank to the wonderful people who've touched my life.
especially MHI.
even have a sworn kor thereeee and, really a big thanks to him because he brought me to church in the beginning for few times and God really touches my heart.

and i realised that i'm a completely changed person from last time, maybe can say just last year :X
i was like a madwoman, a meanieee girl, a rough girl..but now..
totally changed..
niceeeeee, better and willing to take all opportunities i can =)

i thank God and everyone in my lifeee especially the close ones/besties.

I LOVE YOU ALL :D
THANK YOU THANK YOU :D
YOU ROCK :D
see you people..gonna zzz =)

yesterday was my dear mei char's b'day..
i guess i didn't post on wishing her happy b'day :X
so..here it is: HAPPY 13TH BIRTHDAY! GONNA BE A TEEN SOON =)

hmm today went church.
sermon was good, to encourage all of us that God is always there for you no matter what happens.
after service, went MHI for prayer meeting.
i finally shared with peopleeee.. (guess everyone will say the same thing :D)
after prayer meeting, makan.
then, tuition with carolineeeee. had a short prayer with her before we headed home =)

fixed the new speakers..there you see, now you know what happened yesterday lol =)
kor! you can give me your speakers if you want.. if not, better for you to keep them.. i'm okay with it..
hmmm, the rest of the day..will be at homeee. dinner, not sure..but will be with family :D

Dear God,

I thank for this great weekend although there were some bad happenings yesterday which i'll just forget about them..no point thinking of them when they are in the past already.
Pray for:
- everyoneeeeee for a great week ahead as school/work begins tmr.
- Patrick who is sick to have speedy recovery!
- Carolineeee to have safety when she goes to Thailand for this coming week and back in S'pore on Fri/Sat
- Kor that he's back in S'pore safely with the rest (although i don't know whether he's back alr :X)
- myself to have wisdom as i prepare for exams in 2-3 weeks' time!
- jiejie Yanyu's N levels and Joeeng's O levels
- wisdom and guidance in people who are going for the Penang's trip and hopefully i can finish all the 120 bookmarks by end of this month, BEFORE my exams start pleaseeeee! :D

That'll be all for today.
In the name of Jesus Christ.

Amen.

tmr back to school, rah! okay, gtg..
update again..
gonna start preparing for sch tmr and do some revision/work.. =)

was moody the whole dayyy until..

xuehui gave me my birthday-in-advance present, something that i was waiting for was given to meeee.
I WAS TOTALLY SURPRISED! THANK YOU MY DEAR MEI :D
later my dear friend gave me something im waiting for toooooooo before i went to Kovan MRT..
I WAS TOTALLY SURPRISED! THANK YOU MY DEAR FRIEND! :D

i love you all :D
MUACKS! :D
you all made my day, at least worth..cheered me up! =)
REALL Y APPRECIATED!
okay, gtg.. late alr, need to bathe soon =)

Headacheeeee..
I can't really sleep well for the night, i slept nearly to 1am and even woke up before 8am n here updating..
Usually i sleep until at least 9am but today.. zzzzz =(
This time, i really don't know what shall i do.. =(
Whatever i want to do, i feel i've no freedom.

Some people wants me to do, do, do, do, these and those for them.
Yes i'll do, because i want them to be happy.
BUT..when i am not in right mood/want to be aloneee, they still continueeee and i've to do it in the end.
That's what gives me a headache.

PS. Don't think the people are you when you read this entry. I won't mention who they areee and i don't wish to offend anyonee. I'll still carry on although complaining. Let me complain just in my blog, pleaseee ya?

Parents're nagging because of this issueee and i've hard time explaining, protecting them. Sigh! I don't wish to let my parents's relationship with me to be affected, as well.. I need their understanding and willing to give mee freedom in whatever i'm doing. Pleasee, pleaseee, pleaseee, pleaseee.

If you don't know what i mean by saying all these, there's someone you can approach to know moreee. Just ONE person knows what i mean by these. Go find out! (if you want)

Going out later, in early afternoon..or maybe later, before 12pm. It depends.
Will be back probably at night.
Update again..
If you want where i am: I'm at badminton after lunch outside. Dinner outside after badminton. That's all.

Dear God,
I pray for strength for the day today.
I pray for no disasterous thing to happen today, the whole day.
Please bless everyone with peace and harmony.
I pray for myself, trying to be happy for the day although i'm not inside my heart =)
Pray for everyone who i knows in my lifeeee for a good day ahead.
Thank you! In the name of Jesus Christ.

Amen.

soooo horribleeee..
sooooo miserableeee..
soooo terribleeeee..

what's happening to lifeeeee?
i won't mention bad things happened today and what affected meee here.

i just will mention..
this early evening, went to watch movie with dear jiejie yan :D
Money No Enough II :D
Nice nice, it's a comedy..the ending quite touching =)
LEARN TO CHERISH YOUR PARENTS NOT HURTING THEM although they won't show out their feelings..

i won't mention anything elseeeeee.
my mood's affected today.
i'm just very thankful that i know some people are still thereeee for me.

Dear God,

Although today isn't a great day to me, I still thank God for the day!
I pray that tmr will be another finee day!
I also pray for Carolineee in whatever she's doing since she cancelled tmr tuition and something cropped up.
Thank you Jesus!
In the name of Jesus Christ.

Amen.

Wheeee~
Just awake few minutes ago :D

Nice weather in the morning..i feel great!
Hmm?
Going out later..
Update again..
Looking forward to tomorrow! Finally seeing my sworn jiejie and meimei~

PS. Specially thanks to my sworn Kor that i'm not annoyed anymoreee..he is giving his comp speakers away to mee. Although he mentioned they are old, at least they can work..it's fine =)
Once they get spolit again, then start selling/donating me the speakers.. hahaha :D
But I hope that they will last for long! :D

Dear God,

I pray for this nice day today..
I pray for strength and wisdom in what i do today, later..
I pray that my dear friend, will be alright for the whole day :D
Thank you Father..
In the name of Jesus Christ.

Amen.

Just back homeee few minutes ago..

Went down to the sign language course at church just now, nice :D
A big thanks to Kor for willing to let me comeee if i want! =)
Caroline n Pat dropped by.
I nearly got a shock, just kept on smiling. Nothing happened, haha :D

After the course, went MHI then to PS with Caroline, Pat, Juncong and Kor for supper.
Headed home after that.
Update again tmr..

Dear God,

Thank you for this great day today!
Thanksgiving that my dear friend went sleep early..and i pray for him to have a fresh new day tmr.
No moody feeling touch him tmr, as well..
Also, I pray for my dear Kor who is going M'sia with WTJ etc tmr morning..
Pray for their safety there and back in S'pore on Sunday.
Pray for a nice day tomorrow :D
That's all.
In the name of Jesus Christ.

Amen.

Zzzzzzzz.
Stomach cramps today.
Not that bad. It's okay, i still can manage to bear it =)

Tonight, will be going down to Wesley church for sign language course..
Learning sign languages is fun, but don't know why parents are soooo protested against it.
Of course, i'll still continue talking.

To learn sign languages, to communicate better with deaf peopleeee.
Talking to hearing/HH peopleeeeee.
So, everyone is like a family to meeeee, not 2 separate groups which makes me cruel towards deaf peopleeee.
I tried explaining this to parents, but they've nothing to say :X

Anyway, as long i talk to them, will do =)
My room is finally cleared nicely and properly.
I love this developed way of my room, done by meeee yesterday from afternoon until 11pm plus :D
Okay, gtg.. gonna study :D
Update again, have a nice day peopleeee =)

PS. Wonder how my dear jiejie yanyu's doing for her N levels English today :D

Dear God,

I pray to get rid of my stomach cramps by tonight =)
Also, i pray for strength for my dear friend(i won't list who that person's but, God'll know who i'm referring to) until end of this day and let him have a better rest tonight..
I pray for wisdom in my revision which i gonna start after blogging.
Thank you! In the name of Jesus Christ..

Amen! =)

Sleepyy, just woke up =)

Yesterday laser combat was fun :D
Running everywhere in Fort Canning Park lol..
Now arms aching, i think i exerted too much O.o

Pizza after the game, niceee :D
Tuition until 930pm after a hour rest.
That was about yesterday =)

Today, i guess not going anywhereeee. Doing work at homeeee.
Will update again, cya guys :D

PS. I can't wait for saturday, that darn jieeee yanyu..haha XD

new blogskin!
finally this one satisfied meeee =)
sorry peeps, changed again and again.. haha :D

later going laser combat at fort canning, then tuition with kor at MHI until night =)
see you guys :D

have a nice day :D

holidays are here!
happy OFFICIALLY birthday to dear mansura :D

gonna start mugging already!
looking forward to saturday, because my dear jie yanyu has something secretive for me..
she being notii, dont want tell me lol XD

okay, will update again! :D
see you guys!