Back home earliest of all, today !

Skipped POA tutorial =x

I don't want to go, please.

I'm tired & prefer to study at home, my lovely room & table.

Home after school & had lunch.

Here blogging, till & then.

3 tests today !

POA, Eng & Phy at one go, before recess !

(i didn't study for POA, gosh ! no one informed me & it's gonna be graded -___________-)

A disadvantage of being ABSENT ! Damnit !

Now, all OVER !

One more tomorrow, EMaths test !

Everything is sort last-miniute here & there.

I know some teachers are reading blogs, don't mind these lol.

Finally one more day to go before weekend !

Okay, gotta to go.

Gonna shower & do my work.

Perhaps update again tonight (:

Hello !

Studying for tomorrow physics test at the moment.

Remember what i mentioned about my dad & me in yesterday's post ?

This morning, he really overslept !

My mum called him & he woke me up in a maddening way.

So funny, lah !

Luckily, school starts at 845am today for me !

I was like doing actions, showing him the time today 845am for me.

Wanted to laugh but, was still in a sleeping mode -_________-zzz

Today school was as usual.

I nearly fell asleep in class again ! Yesterday was worse =x

CCA after school.

Instructor was in good mood today O.o

I guess he has recovered from his crazy sickness, lols.

Dad fetched me home after CCA.

Dinner & right now, blogging & studying.

2 tests tomorrow ! Physics & English -__________-

Tomorrow, until 3pm for Accounts !

Hey, teacher please lah !Can give me break, leh?

Out of 5 days in a week, 4 days have to stay back in school >__<

Okay, i shall survive until this crazy weekend arrives.

Gotta to go!

See you all ! Goodnight !

Good luck for my tests tomorrow !

Thanks for those who pray for me, till and then!

Sunday's church sermon

-- those in colours are most important to know --

Matthew13:3-9

Matthew 13:18-23.

The key to understand this parable is the act of sowing.

The central point concerns the coming of Kingdom of God.

Kingdom of God comes into the world to be received by some, rejected by others.

This success depends on human response.

Word of God is sown.

Sometimes bear fruits, sometimes don't.

Sower sowing the same seed gets different result from the same seed.

But faithful one will lead to a harvest.

Matthew 13 illustrates the mystery of His Kingdom.

It brings to men in this age, the blessings of age to come.

Although power of evil is strong, God is stronger.

Success of God's work is certain.

Don't be discouraged when evil is strong.

When gospel is preached, it makes us repond but yet there is no fruit.

This mystery of Kingdom of God has worked in a special way,comes secretly and quietly.
Howver, it can work among men but not recognised by the crowd.

Kingdom of God works among men in a special way.

Seeds we sow represents the gospel.

These seeds should continue to be sowed.

The life giving force is in the seed and not the soil.

Its life of the Kingdom in the person's heart.

Only the person who receive this deep in his heart will allow it to bear fruit.

Some accept, some reject Him.

The results are in the hands of God and choice of individual.

Mixed responses.

Ground to be sown may not look so healthy.

But God doesn't quit.

It's not easy sometimes, we get discouraged and tired, depending on our strength.

We don't believe as we see no result.

But the seed itself has the power to produce in dead soil.

Continue to be the sower in the parable.

Some sow, some water but God gives the harvest.

We just need to go out and keep sowing.

Kingdom of God is here but not with irresistable power.

It's like a man sowing seeds, some will receive the sowing, some will not.

Men can still reject, but all will receive.

We are to sow seeds everywhere, sowing is universal, growing is individual.

John 3:16

God's Kingdom is working actively but He will not compel men to bow before his Kingdom.

Response must come from a willing heart.

God will not drive you to his Kingdom.

Seed - word of God.

Sower - anyone who disseminates that word.

Okay, that's all !

Goodnight all !

12am now ! Gosh !

Went back to school today !

BOMB !

The moment i reached the canteen, i'm being called as Japanese Doll ! -____-

Lol, i think people there will know who i'm talking about =p

The medicine that i took the previous night is SO drowsy, man !

I even fell asleep half-way when i was eating my bread -________-

Okay, forget it.

After school,stayed back until 3pm plus for a project discussion.

Joined my girlfriends @ library until 4pm plus.

Went off.

Ate late late lunch @ bugis & went for tuition with Kor.

Home after dinner.

Just ate tablets for my cough, not the cough syrup please !

But, found out that my dad took it earlier. Gosh !

I wonder whether he will be able to wake up tmr =x

If i'm really late for school, you know the reason ba. Lols !

Okay, gotta to go.

Goodnight ! Another sleepless night =_=

Tmr CCA ! Rah !

Continuing from yesterday's sermon

I can't summarise it anymore, so i guess i'll type everything that i noted down out here.
Take your time to read them.

Ground to be sown may not look so healthy. But God doesn't quit.

It's not easy sometimes, we can get discouraged and tired, depending on our strength.

We don't believe as we see no result.

But the seed itself has the power to produce in dead soil.

Continue to be the sower.

TO BE CONTINUED ---

I'm too tired now ! Goodnight !

Went to see doctor just now, got MC.

Well, i'm alright.

Just a cough.

Hopefully it will recover before saturday.

You better stop telling my mum what's in my blog.

Don't you know how an teenager feel?

MY LIFE IS MY LIFE.

Understand?

I'm not feeling miserable.

I'm going through what an teenager usually experience when growing up and meeting all kinds of people.

Especially i'm a HI.

Hearing impaired person's life is slightly different from hearing person's life.

Get it now?

I can't hear as well as you nomal people.

So, please stop talking about whatever i post in my blog to my mum.

I don't want to be a burden to my mum.

If i hear this once more from my mum, i'm going to reveal here who you are !

You better stop it.

Okay, gotta to go.

Have some work to do already.

See you all !

Yesterday's church sermon (notes taken down in phone)

Matthew 13:3-9

Matthew 13:18-23

The key to understand this parable is the act of sowing.

The central point concerns the coming of Kingdom of God.

Kingdom of God comes into the world to be received by some, rejected by others.

This success depends on human resources.

Word of God is sown.

Sometimes bear fruits, sometimes don't.

Sower sowing the same seed gets different result from the same seed.

But the faithful one will lead to a harvest.

Matthew 13 illustrates the mystery of His Kingdom.

It brings to men in this age, the blessings of age to come.

Although power of evil is strong, God is stronger.

Success of God's work is certain.

Don't be discouraged when evil is strong.

When gospel is preached, it makes us respond but yet there is no fruit.

This mystery of Kingdom of God has worked in a special way, comes secretly and quietly.

However, it can work among men but not recognised by the crowd.

Kingdom of God works among men in a special way.

Seeds we sow represent the gospel.

These seeds should continue to be sowed. The life of giving force is in the seed and not the soil.

It's the life of Kingdom in the person's heart.

Only this person receives this deep in his heart will allow it to bear fruit. Some accept, some reject Him.

The results are in the hands of God and choice of individual.

Mixed responses.

Ground to be sown may not look so healthy. But God doesn't quit. It's not easy sometimes.

I will continue the sermon later when i've summarised everything.

The notes that i typed in my phone is almost everything what the pastor was talking about, so it's very very long ! I need time to summarise first.

Those, who are interested. You may read the first half of the sermon's explanations by the pastor.

Thanks !!

Went to watch a percussion performance just now @ Esplanade.

It was awesome!

Today was the last day of their performance.

Surprisely, their leader knew sign languages and spoke to us.

Took train home after that.

Tomorrow Monday Blues o.O

Well, i'm still coughing ! My stomach hurts at the same time ):

Anyway, it has been a week already.

Hope this medicine, this time, works.

ps. some people whom i'm close with even say that i've changed, sigh.

rofl. what's wrong with me seriously? i'm utterly disappointed with myself, still never give up with God being there.

sometimes, i'm really very very discouraged. still, can't give up.

learnt from SF today; a video from a man - i forgot his name (is it Rick Varren?)

Never give up although discouragements or evil comes into you !

Rah, still very difficult for me. I still try try try sooo hard until i really want to die ! =x

Erm, don't force to read all those small words.

All about myself - being self-centredness.

I'm sorry. I'm just very irritated by things in my mind, till i'm having headache.

Goodnight !

A usual Sunday.

The Joyce whom you know has changed.

Mixed feelings.

My mood has been changing every minute every single day.

Wish i have never gone to SF today.

I had already said.

My stupid attitude only shows people, which i don't want.

All the best to those who are going for mission trip !

I won't be going this year & next year.

Next year O levels ):

ALL THE BEST.

I will serve MHI when time is ripe.

Got home after SF.

Parents are unusually quiet and my brother is crazily mean, as usual.

Even I sense my family is going wrong.

What's happening to us?

God, i need your strength & wisdom on us.

Bless me & my dad, who are down with cough !

Give my mum strength !

Please bless everyone with your Almighty strength although they are not Christians.

I believe that one day they will get to know You.

Okay, gotta to go.

I'm not in right mood & still sick. See you all !

Have a blessed week (:

I'm truly sorry to those who i showed my stupid attitude !

And i shouldn't stay on for the CNY party just now.

Showing my 'bad mood' face, would destroy the fun.

I refused to participate in the games.

I refused to take pictures.

I refused to talk to people much.

I refused to join my girlfriends.

What's fcuking wrong with me? ):

I'm sorry, everyone !

Especially Joe Eng & Zhou Meng ! You have done a good job.

A pity that i didn't participate.

I'm not in the mood of playing.

I think i'm under stress, sorry people.

I know you all care.

But just that, i've changed.

I don't know why either.

My stupid face, my stupid attitude ):

Okay enough of this.

I even didn't join my family for the gathering.

wtf.

But, I'm grateful that my parents understand this =x

Okay, gotta to go.

Not in the mood, to write anything further.

Goodnight.

Finally a nice simple blogskin !

I just need a right timing to do a right blogskin (:

Okay, updating tonight.

What's on today:

1st tuition @ 1130am

2nd tuition @ 2pm

MHI CNY party @ 4pm - People, come & join us!

If last-minute coming, do sms me ! (:

Family gathering @ night

Okay see you all !

Enjoy & have a blessed day ^^

Just few minutes before 12am.

What's wrong with my family today?

I came back, all were sleeping already. Haiz.

Nothing much today.

Still coughing, coughing.

Didn't see doctor in the end.

I feel like not going out tomorrow and until then.

Sian ! ):

Anyway, never mind.

I know God is with me.

Dear Father in heaven, please give me some strength ! Amen.

Okay, i shld go strong.

Ok, goodnight.

Gonna do my things. See you !

-updated @ 1145pm

Biology test tmr !

I studied for it already !

Hope i do it well, *prays hard !

Studying POA now.

Zzz.

I guess my cough is getting worse.

Okay, gotta to go.

*coughs !

Goodnight !! (:

-updated @ 950pm

Hello.

So many negative thoughts today, wtf.

Still, i thank God for today good weather !

I supposed to stay back in school till 5pm, i sorta escaped.

I've been running away from staying back.

Why leh?

Yeah, sick. But, i think i'm sorta abit mad.

Thinking negative things.

Now cough & flu -__________-

Still, i'm staying strong ! But mostly, i can't go for band yet.

Staying in aircon for 3-4hours, will make me feel more worseeeee ):

Seeing doc @ polyclinic tmr, hopefully.

Cheaper than the private clinic !! It's sooo freaking expensive !

Erm?

Saturday; Study & Play time !

It gonna be a sorta crazy day for me !

Okay, gotta to go !

ps. i failed my freaking 3 tests already ! bio test tmr ! phy test next week !

WTF. I need to catch up already.

Failing 3 tests at the beginning of the year, is really sucky !! ):

I need some positive thoughts ! Gosh !

See you all !

-updated @ 7pm

Blogging again.

Hmm?

Argh, what's wrong with me?

Last night was a slight argument with this person.

And, just now another slight argument with another person.

WTF. what's wrong with me?

Am i trying to affect the relationship between these 2 people & myself ?

I guess i'll leave these alone.

I, myself, have to cool myself down first when i'm already so frustrated.

I'M SORRY !

You see, i'm just affecting everyone in this stupid thing.

Don't get affected by me please.

I'm really stupid & silly ):

REALLY STUPID.

SILLY.

I should stop blogging on these crazy stuffs, oh my damnit !

Okay, thanksgiving to God for the day !

No matter what, i still worship Him & love Him !

Today, didn't go CCA.

Sick - still coughing & everyone is complaining of afraid that i'll pass the virus -.-

Zzz.

Okay, will update again.

See you !

-updated @ 915pm

Do you know this ?

You just simply hurt me.

I think too much already.

I don't know what i want to do !

I have enough problems !

I've been experiencing this and that.

I just need someone when i need.

You people just know how to make me hurt.

Everytime, i feel like crying.

I really don't know !

My life is really sucky !

I've been attacking with bad happenings !

I broke glass bottle !

I tripped & fell & almost knocked my head and sprained my ankle !

I almost got stung by bees !

I am attacked with a cough & slight flu !

I got scolded for so much being kind !

I got reprimanded when i don't do things properly when i didn't really mean that !

When i want someone desperately, i get more pressure in the end.

Why?

Sometimes i do feel like ending my life right now !

I feel like killing myself.

I try so hard to stay positive !

I had so many bad experiences especially relationships with friends & family relationships.

I want just some (20%) understanding.

Not everything to be understood.

At least something abit please.

I feel so miserable leh !

Especially when my close ones/loved ones do this to me.

To this particular person:

Do you know that i put most photos of you in my computer wallpaper?

If you want to know, see for yourself.

Don't ask me.

I do love all of you !

I'm just under stress !

Neglecting all of you, is already making me feel very bad enough.

You all know. N levels for me this year !

Sigh.

I have nothing more to say further more !

I always think of this & that every night.

Think until my head is sooo pain !

Sigh !

Well, if you want to affect me more, go ahead.

I just get affected & carry on my life. Nothing else i can do.

ps. I still remember God & i try to pray to Him everyday for strength to face these obstacles !

-updated @ 615pm

Back to my old blogskin.

Nothing is nice, at the moment !

And my patience of editing the blogskins, is gone for now.

My life seems to be gone.

I'm unwell.

People started noticing the unusual me.

YES, i know ! My usual self is gone !

What's happening to me?

I kept on getting scolded & bad things fall on me recently.

WHY?

I need some advices, some encouragements NOT focus on studies & those stuffs.

Do you know what's wrong with me anot?

It's not because of studies.

My studies, i'm managing my time & doing my revision more often now than last year's.

WTF !

I feel so frustrated, you know !

I'm so annoyed.

Furthermore, i'm unwell already. People, still don't get that fact huh?

N levels & O level EMaths this year !

YES I KNOW THAT !

Don't need to remind me that.

I'm getting more & more frustrated.

Turn to God for help.

Helps alittle. I need more faith & trust in God.

But ! Still, very frustrated !

It's not the usual me !

WHY ? Wtf.

-updated @ 545pm

New blogskin.

It looks ugly at the moment.

Will change into a better one, when i've more time.

Gotta to go.

Goodnight, all !

PS. I managed to finish all my undone EMaths homework after days of piling all undone EMaths work !

It was like 3 exercises of tons of questions to finish up !

FINALLY !

But i still have other tasks to do.

Well, not much time at the moment. Perhaps tomorrow or before this week ends.

Monday Blues.

Today sucks !

I tripped & fell in school. Small bruises on leg & ankle.

But, i nearly knocked my head !

IF !

I knock my head, then i think i'll be more stupid already.

What's wrong with me? -___________-

Stayed back until 245pm & only had my lunch after 4pm.

Accounts extra lessons.

HEY MAN !

I need to rest. I need to eat. I need to go home.

I know my mum's reading my blog. Teachers may read my blog.

I don't care. I'm stating the facts anyway.

I've tons of work & revision to do.

I AM

tired + stressed + sick + mood swings + busy !

These are killing me please.

I've been neglecting friends & family.

What's wrong with me?

=(

I'm sorry.

Yeah, i've been not in a good mood.

I just lost my voice today (sick).

Sigh.

Okay gotta to go. Do work, work, work.

-updated @ 8pm

Had been a long day today.

Went out since morning.

Church & prayer meeting today, as usual.

Left to a ex-teacher's house.

Gathered with old friends & teachers, Ms Han & Ms Chan.

Had a nice time, catching up with one another especially these two ex-teachers.

Left & went 1st dinner before headed home.

Now having 2nd dinner.

Hmm?

Back to school tomorrow, as a new week begins.

My unhappy mood is still there and ever.

Mood swings, i guess?

Problems never end. Feel that things are just getting worse & i've to solve them.

Anyway, gotta to go.

Have a blessed week ahead.

-updated @ 9pm